My Poems: Love, Loss & Lust

All poems are copy written.

Tattooed

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

She left her name tattooed, on the tender flesh of my inner thigh. The ink it stayed, even the times she said goodbye. It was painful and permanent, I was scarred for life, with the remembrance of her and an unforgettable night.

Hers was the first to join my collection, of markings and names left for my recollection. Each one tattooed, but hers was bigger than the rest, because there can only be one first like there can only be one last. Dark black ink, etched deep into my skin. Her signature was signed, but not with a pen. Forever left upon my leg, never to be moved but often to be read. A mark much different from my childhood scars, for those were earned for courage and this was earned for charm. Seduced then signed like documentation. It is my own fault, some things shouldn’t be hastened.

So now I trace the letters with my index finger, feeling every loop and bend of your cursive signature. You tattooed me its true, but I’m glad that you did, for now I’m sure that I’ll never forget. For now the world can bear witness to the feelings that we shared, for a small intricate moment, everyone unaware. Your name signifies the time we spent together. I hate you and I love you, you’ve tattooed me forever

My Drug

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I spend my nights trying to cry you out. Until my insides are dry like a desert cloud. All of the memories of us, I try to wash them away. Wish I could hang onto the love and still forget the pain. But the pain that you’ve caused throbs like the beat in my chest. Thinking about you causes Cardiac arrest. Just let it rest, because our love is history it’s true. More than anything I wish that I could quit you. But you’re my drug, my heroin. I feel you in my veins. I was addicted that first night when your lips, they sang my name.

But now I’m starting to detox, because things aren’t quite what they seemed. Beautiful girls, they can be so menacing. I was high on your sex, but then came crashing to earth. You revealed your true colors, and I rediscovered my self-worth. Now I’m in emotional rehab, struggling to stay clean. As you tempt me with sweet songs, and beautiful things. But my heart you’ve broken, and your kindness it won’t last. You are my drug of choice, but I choose to keep you in the past. I pray that you don’t haunt me, and I pray I don’t relapse. But you’re my drug, my heroin. I feel you in my veins. But I will conquer my addiction, and move on to better things.

Bullet

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

It hit me like a bullet, shot straight through my heart. This was more than just desire, it made me want to know you from the start. I want to travel back in time, and see you as a child. I want to know your everything, and be the cause of  your every smile. I want to see you grow old, and be the reason that you breath. I want to meet with you in heaven. Girl this wound it cuts me deep. I could feel it in my chest, from that moment we first met, it’s like this bullet’s a part of me, and it won’t allow me to forget. Forget your precious smile, the way your eyes reflect the sun, or the way that your body was built for me. Baby I know that you’re the one.

I can feel those shots go off and hear the ringing in my ears, knowing deep inside that it’s my soul that you have pierced. I want to grow with you, only you can mend this broken heart. A love as real as ours is guaranteed to leave a mark. So scar me, ruin me so that I’ll never be the same. I’ll wear these imperfections proudly, and let the whole world know your name. You complete me, and for your intellect I do lust. Your combination of beauty and brains intoxicate me like a drug. How could you be so perfect? It’s as though God sent you to me, to teach me a lesson on how beautiful life can truly be.

You challenge me and I love it. You make me want to be a better woman. I want to protect you from this world, but I know that your strength will overcome it. That’s what attracted me to you, you’re strong just like my mother. You’re the only woman in this life that I would ever place above her. It makes me shutter, the thought of living a life without you in it. I want you to be my wife, please let me show you that I’m committed. You are my woman, my queen, and the mother of my future child. You are the bullet that shot me, and made my life so worthwhile.

I long to hold you in my arms and never let you go. Just lay in bed with me, chest to chest and soul to soul. And when we make love, it brings a tear to my eye. Your beauty it overwhelms me, without your love I think I’d die. So let us never say goodbye, but rather welcome each new day, as a chance to show the world that you and I are here to stay. Your love it strikes me like a bullet, and it leaves me paralyzed. You are my world, my everything and I’m so happy that you’re mine.

Dreams

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

The steam from our bodies rises in the night. Our bodies touch and our passions ignite. I cannot express how badly I want you with words, so instead I use my mouth to caress your every curve. With sweet kisses I move from your hips to your inner thigh. Then I kiss the lips and your lust multiplies. I taste you, and I feel your sweet sugar on my tongue. I drink you into me as our bodies become one. Your legs intertwine around me, I stay cradled in your web.  The sounds that you make will forever play inside my head, and I will never forget the nights spent with you. You’re much more than just a conquest, you are my comfort food. Always keeping me in the mood, addicted to the things you do. And the way that you feel, with your skin so soft and smooth. I wanna melt into you, and make you drip with desire. I wanna be the reason you perspire. And you are all that I need, no need for explicit magazines. Believe me when I say you are the girl of my dreams. Wet dreams, dry dreams. Your dreams, my dreams. All I do is dream of when I’ll see you again. You are my sexual muse, so let the inspiration begin.

 

The Girl Who Never Was

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I’ve decided to forget you and every memory of us. I’ve decided to erase you, the way you smell, the way you touch, from my mind and from my heart, the very heart that you did crush. I’ve decided to make you, the girl who never was… I will not mention your name or reminisce about your smile. I will not listen to our song, and I’ll delete your number from speed dial. I’ll unfriend you on Facebook and change my relationship status, then I’ll post a poignant quote and pretend that you don’t matter. I will not think about your laugh, or the last time we made love. I’ll throw away all of your pictures and your monogrammed mug. When people ask about you I’ll tell them we broke-up, I’ll tell them it’s for the best, and that I am much better off. I will have no regrets, I will not acknowledge your existence.You will be a ghost, not even missed for an instant. I will not cry, get high or get “buzzed”, to numb the pain that was caused by a girl who never was. I will move on with life, I will forget you and your strife. My wounds will heal and I will remove this knife, from the heart within my chest that is now open to love, because I have learned to let go of the girl who never was….

Heart of Courage

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Dedicated to K.D.

I burnt the poems you wrote for me to end the constant memory. As punishment for breaking your heart it seems you will forever haunt my dreams. I loved you like a brother, you mistook me for a queen.

Your lips could not cure my hunger, your caress could not cure my thirst. I needed more than you could give, perhaps our love was cursed. But still you gave me your heart, you ripped it beating from your chest. You begged for me to take it, but instead I pushed it back. I watched you bleed before my eyes, I stood and watched our love demise. “You should have given us a chance,” were the words you said as we danced our final dance. I wanted to be young and in love, I fell in love with the ideal. I tried to force my feelings rather than keep my feelings real. You provided me with comfort, I gave you a second home. You helped me see what I could be, I helped you to grow.

I wanted to love you, the way I knew you loved me, but in my heart I knew that it wasn’t meant to be. Our souls were perhaps a dream deferred. Our paths were crossed and lessons were learned. I hope your heart has healed from the damage that was done, and may you someday find a person who is worthy of your love. I hope you haven’t lost your courage. The courage to risk your life, by giving someone the part of you that without you can’t survive. You handed me your heart held tightly in your hand, and that is what truly makes you such a beautiful man. Unafraid of the consequences, there for the world to see. I love you for the courage that you have given me.

Unafraid

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

You say you like a challenge, well I challenge you to this.

Try not to let your knees grow weak when I kiss you with these lips.

You say that you’re a fighter, well I’m a lover instead.

But I’ll fight to make you happy, to possess your heart within these hands.

A woman with a mind of her own, that is what I seek.

Intelligence and intellect – a woman who is truly unique.

Someone who won’t make it too easy for me, a woman who enjoys the chase.

A heart is something to be won, not simply given away.

I’m unafraid to put you in your place, and I expect you’ll do the same for me.

Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong – I’m not perfect, so don’t expect me to be.

You deserve to be treated like the Empress that you are, and that’s the least that I will do.

I’ll respect your actions and your words, and honor all the things that you choose.

I’m not afraid to argue and to let my passion show,

for it’s that same passion that is revealed every time that we make love.

Whether I scream it from the rooftops, or just whisper it in your ear,

I’ll never be afraid to show you the way that you make me feel.

Sunshine After the Rain

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Mountains rise and fall as this world of our’s evolves. The girl who was born from my dreams, you are my worthy cause.

Like a seed planted in the ocean, it drinks while drowning all the while. So would be my fate if I should never see your smile.

To witness your true beauty is my only wish. You are my satisfaction in a world of momentary bliss. When I feel trapped by the mundane, it is your words that keep me sane.

In your eyes I see hope, you are my sunshine after the rain.

Secret Painting

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

We breathe the same breath as we kiss real deep. I feel every inch of your sexy physique. It’s unnatural, the way that we connect – the way our souls become as one when we meet in the bed. Your skin is supple, every inch of you is pure. Tonight you are mine, and all of me is your’s.

What we share is so much more than lust. When your heart beats against mine I feel a sense of trust. We share a physical attraction, but spiritual as well. It’s overwhelming, when you approach my chest begins to swell, as I struggle for breath. You make me sweat, but I can make you sweat too. But we must not reveal the things that we do. This is our little secret kept behind closed doors. Your longing for my body as I long for yours. Your eyes are fixed on mine as I read your soul. Your’s is the only story that I love to hold. Your lips they wander, from my lips to my skin. I feel your muscles tighten as the art work begins. For we are a masterpiece both you and I. Our bodies and souls intertwine as the moon rises in the sky. The wind it blows, but the candles stay lit. Your body it shields me, like the warmest of blankets. Your skin so smooth is now dewy and wet. I run my fingers through your hair and I feel your sweat. Your body slowly caresses over mine – And I wish that this feeling would last for all time. I know you wish the same, for you love the warmth that I posses. We slowly sink into an ocean of love and happiness. I stay cradled in your arms, you stay cradled in mine. This painting is complete, we’ll start anew the next time. And once again my colors and your colors will swirl, revealing an intimate portrait, unseen by the world.

I love the feeling that I feel when you’re lying next to me, as if we’ve broken off a piece of sweet ecstasy. In this momentary bliss you have filled my appetite, curing my craving for seduction and delight. I whisper goodnight and you snuggle in closer. Your nose touches mine and I’m aware that it’s over. Not quite sure of what the morning will bring, I enjoy our time together and I dream of Spring.

First Love

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Inspired by E.K.

My youthful blindness causes me to think, that everyone feels the same as me. But now I see that that’s not true. You don’t love me like I love you. I poured out my soul to get nothing in return. Perhaps it was time that I learned how to yearn. But I’d yearned for so long, like I’d yearned for your touch. Yearned for your love and yearned for your trust. But you couldn’t give me something that you didn’t have. You didn’t share love for me, but I’m afraid I can’t be mad. That’s life and that’s love, that’s how reality bites. I’ll still be there for you on those cold dark nights. Because your irresistible, how can I say no, when your deep dark eyes – they read my soul. I love you that’s true, and that may never fade, but I’ll go on with my life and I’ll remember the days, when I was young and you were all that I knew – and your’s was the only beauty I knew to be true. I may never erase your face from my memory, and I pray you find happiness, even if it’s not with me. I leave you with these words of love and compassion… You were my first, my only, and I loved you more than you could imagine.

Incomplete

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

On the nights when you can’t sleep, you touch yourself and you think of me. Insomnia can be so bittersweet. But I’d rather have you next to me. For without you I am incomplete.

I said without you I am incomplete…

Loneliness. It lives in me. Without you near, its consuming. I wish you would, I wish you might. Call my phone, stay the night. To have you near would bring delight. In your arms, I’ll make it through the night. Common said it, you are the light. Shining your rays upon my life. And without you I am incomplete.

I said without you I am incomplete…

Exhaustion it cuts like a knife, bleeding into my days. I spend my nights in a constant nightmarish state. Because I’m always dreaming of you, but your never there when I wake. And I just wish that you were mine, don’t even care what it takes. Break. Me into little pieces, tuck me away inside your heart. Swallow me whole just like Cronus, to be sure we don’t depart. I just want you here with me, and I just want inside your heart. Because without you I am incomplete.

I said without you I am incomplete

 More Than Sex

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I pick her up off the couch and I throw her to the floor, then I have my way with her, and she begs me for more. See I prefer to play rough, but she knows I’ll never hurt her. Still I take it to the bed, and get her underneath the covers. Minutes turn to hours, and hours turn to bliss. Then we both catch our breaths, and linger on the last kiss. I wonder to myself, why can’t life always be like this?

Lust can be simple, but love is complex, and if this is more than sex, than I gotta say, lets… Let’s take it to the next level. Let’s see what this could be. Because I’d rather say I tried at love, than say I chose to be lonely…

 Assisted Suicide

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

She was just another vixen, with venom to spew. Though she vehemently denied that another person she could kill. For love she said. Only for love could she take a person’s life. So I asked her if she loved me, and I handed her the knife. I must say that it was my sweetest suicide. At the hands of a beautiful woman, that is how I prefer to die.

Say

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Tell me what is there to say, except for words I can’t convey. You told me that you loved me, and I turned and walked away.
For I cannot say what it is you want to hear, and still I cannot utter what it is I truly feel.

By Your Side
by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

If you were the sun and I were the moon, I’d chase the stars just to get to you.

If you were the earth and I was the sky, I’d cross the universe to be by your side.

Cheater

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Dedicated to D.B.

You can call me by any name you like, but I answer only to one. Many have called me a liar, and a “no good, son-of-a-gun.” You see I am a cheater and I’ve come to break your heart, by sleeping with your best friend in the backseat of my car. I don’t care about you, and your feelings I love to hurt. I only seek satisfaction, the kind that lies beneath her skirt. Yes I am a cheater, the one your mother warned you about. I can lie my way out of anything, go ahead and try me out. I crave sex and deception, but only at your expense. You should have never fallen for me, you should have used your common sense. I tell you that I love you, but we both know that it’s not true. Real love wouldn’t do all of the hurtful things that I do. I laid another in our bed and didn’t wash the sheets. Apart of me hoped that I would get caught, for its excitement that I seek. I’m a cheater, it’s true, that’s what I do best. To me, making women cry is even better than sex. I’ll never be faithful, there’s just no fun in that. I’d rather break-up happy homes and make other people sad. You look cute when you’re mad, but that won’t keep me around. That won’t keep me home at night when I could be out carousing downtown. Searching for my next victim, like a moth to the flame. I’ll seduce her, and then later I’ll probably forget her name. Yes I’ll take away everything that she holds dear. I’ll take away her dignity, and replace it with fear – the fear of being alone, the fear that all men act this way. She’ll be my wounded little bird, kept captive in my cage. These girls are all the same, always wanting to be loved. I prey upon these girls and suck them dry like a mosquito bug. I’m a cheater, I don’t believe in honor or truth. I’ll cheat on anyone, whether they’re older or in their youth. You want proof, that this cheater will never change his ways? That I’m only concerned about myself, not whats going on inside your brain?… Your sister Erin called, and I told her to swing by. We were intimate on the couch – I won’t even bother to lie. I’d tell you that I’m sorry, but you know that I won’t mean it. I’ve effected nearly every woman on earth, it’s no wonder I’m so conceited…I’m a Cheater!

Sweet Valentine

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Inspired by S.H.

I sit and gaze out my window on a cool and rainy night, and watch the smoke from my cigarette dance in the dim bedroom light. I’m thinking of you as always, and I envision your shy smile. The thought of the way your body moves drives me wild. I reminisce on the night that you and I first met. When we danced the night away, our bodies glistened with sweat. I looked into your warm brown eyes and glimpsed a piece of your soul. From that moment on it was you I had to know. You gave me your number and that night I couldn’t sleep, as the smell of your sweet perfume lingered on my memory. You were the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen, and the more that we talked the more beautiful you seemed. With your perfect honey complexion that’s been kissed by the sun, and your long chocolate-brown hair that I’m longing to tug. Your Colombian curves and delicate face. Your integrity, ambition, and intelligence is great! Who could replace, this woman who’s found her way into my life? I promise to cherish you, every day and every night. Amor, your name tastes sweet upon my lips. I long to feel your skin on my fingertips. But the night grows late, and my dreams they cannot wait. But I shall see you again in my thoughts, tomorrow when I wake. You are my sweet Valentine, forever and always. I’ll keep you safe within my heart, forever lost in your gentle gaze…

Lost

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham


I wanna run around barefoot, and dance in the grass. I want to feel your presence, and delve into the past. When you were my first and I was your only. Before this love left us feeling so lonely. I long for you to hold me, and whisper my name. Though I know that it’s true things will never be the same. Sunlight turns to rain, and I’m lost in my dreams. Perhaps someday I’ll know what true love really means…

High on Your Love

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Now I’m getting high every day, ever since you broke my heart. I think back to January, that’s when it all fell apart. Your sex was amazing, it hooked me from the start. Every time I was inside you it was like a work of art. But here we are, forced apart, and laying next to someone else. I asked you for the truth, but you told me something else. My head spins, my chest aches. I inhale and intake. And dream of when our love began… Before we surrendered to fate.

Touch

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Touch me ever so slightly, and I’ll pretend not to feel you. Touch me too sternly, and I’ll try not to fear you. Touch me with your hand, touch me with your face. My skin like a canvas will reveal your last trace.
Embrace.
Embrace my body, embrace my heart. Our skin so close together, and our souls so far apart. Catch a kiss from me, and then catch me as I fall, slowly into December – emptiness and all…

Teacher

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Sarah taught me how to love, Tito taught me to kiss, Danny taught me how to hurt, and Annie taught me to miss. But it was you who taught me to work my body like this. It was you who taught me to trust, and how to love instead of lust. It was you who made me feel, it was you who helped me to heal. It was you who made me see how beautiful true love could be. And there’s no doubt in my mind that you and I were meant to be. So teach me, mold me, and for you I’ll do the same. You have helped me to grow, in my heart and in my brain.

So Cold

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

It’s cold outside. The sun barely shines. All that’s left to do is sit and dream of you. We met in the Spring when the flowers were in bloom. My heart it was small, but for you I made room. Now Spring is yet to come, I miss how your eyes reflect the sun. We’ll be together soon, once this Winter is done.

The Sense of Smell

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I smell it all over you. The smell of desire. I smell your secrets, and I smell you perspire. You’ve been touching yourself, as you lust for someone else. You say you love me, but you loved the way she felt. You can have her now, have the girl of your dreams. For I’ll be gone when you wake, and I’ll leave as you sleep. I cannot live in this house, for there are too many smells, and each of these smells tells a separate tale. Tales of love, tales of deceit, tales of who we want and who we wish we could be. I won’t say goodbye, and I won’t leave a note. Though I have lost you, I will never lose my hope.

Red Rose

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I smell the scent of death as I descend down the stairs. Not the dying of flesh, but of roses instead. The smell is sweet yet sour, and it tickles my nose. I mourn for a moment, for I love the red rose. I admire their beauty, though they are so hard to keep. Like the man who gave them to me, they are strong yet somehow weak. Perhaps it was the crisp Winter air that brought them to their demise, or perhaps it was me and my hardened heart that they despise. I cared for them it’s true, but perhaps not the best that I could. I wish that their death would bring to me some good. But it won’t, for there is a secret that I keep. I do not love the man, who I know loves me. The same man that gave me these roses on Valentine’s Day. The man whose love will soon be taken away. For just like the roses, our love slowly began to die. “It wasn’t meant to be,” I said as I looked into his eyes. Perhaps I too didn’t care for him the best that I could, but yet he’s still in love with me, despite my bad and my good. I never wanted to hurt him, but my true feelings must be revealed. I cannot be in a relationship when I don’t feel as he feels. He tells me to be patient, perhaps I’ll come around. But I’ve been in love before and that’s not how true love is found. I’m a young woman, and someday I’ll find a mate. The person that I was destined for, whom God has sent to this place. Call me a hopeless romantic, or an idealistic youth, but we all deserve someone who will love us in truth. I know that this man will find love once again, and I pray that his love for her be returned. Some may think of me as cold or mean, but I do not share much concern. For I know that his strengths are greater than his weaknesses, and I know that he will overcome. I only hope that he’ll forgive me for breaking his heart into pieces of more than one. I pray that we both find happiness, I pray that we both find love. I pray that we both don’t lose our faith, but build a friendship that’s pure as a dove. He will forever remain hidden in my memory, and I hope that I’m not forgotten too. The death of a love means the birth of something new. The rebirth of me, and the rebirth of you. A new chapter in our lives has surely begun. I must dispose of my roses, but I’ll hang onto one. A rose that reminds me of beauty, a rose that reminds me of love, a rose that will remain in my heart until I reach the heavens above. Similar to a rose, my death it comes in Winter, but I shall bloom again in Spring. Then I shall rediscover love, and other beautiful things.

An Ode to Juliet

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Dedicated to S.L.

Your kisses are sweet, your brown eyes make me weak. The only wish I wish tonight is to have you next to me.

To wake and see your freckled face would cause any angel to fall from grace. To me you are worth more than pearly gates. I know that our love will outlast their hate. Stay forever with me in this embrace – heart to heart and face to face.

This is an ode to my Juliet, I love you far more than these words can express. Let the ring that you wear symbolize the feelings that we share. Forget the pains of the past – your heart I’ll handle with care.

Runaway with me, and hold tight to my hand. Say you’ll be my Juliet and I’ll be your Superman – rather I’ll be your Super girl, and take you away from this jaded world. You take away my breath, for you are forever my beautiful girl….I love you.

Dear Diary

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Since this is my diary, I can write whatever I please. I can write about this girl I know who brings me to my knees. I can write about how the thought of her keeps me awake at night. I can write about how my heart skips a beat at her very sight. The girl of my dreams she is – I knew it from the start. From a single brief encounter, yes this girl she stole my heart. Some may think I’m foolish, and I agree it’s true. But she rules my every thought this girl – if you saw her she’d rule your’s too. So what am I to do I ask, dear diary of mine. I’ve already blown my chances, though true love is patient and kind. Love at first sight, perhaps that’s what it was. One glance from her brown eyes is guaranteed to leave you buzzed. We were meant to be together, I can feel it in my soul. If only she’d feel the same then perhaps our love could grow. I believe in fate dear diary, and I believe that she and I will meet again. And maybe next time she’ll think with her heart, and perhaps not with her head.

CHANCE

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

It’s true that words can cut like a knife, but these words that I write are sincere.

I have no empty promises to give, just know that I’m right here.

I’m here wanting to get to know you, here hoping that you’ll give me the chance

to prove to you that I’m not like the rest – that I’m a hopeless sucker for romance.

So let me romance you, and treat you the way that a girl should always be treated.

You’re an independent woman and I love that fact. You don’t need me or my money,

and you’re a true class act. You’re the type of woman that I need in my life. I’m not looking

for a fairytale ending, but I want more than just one night. So talk to me, get to know me, and

maybe you could be my favorite girl. Let me prove to you that I’m different, you won’t regret it

and that’s my word.

Virgo

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I still smell you on my skin. Your laughter lingers in my dreams. My beautiful Virgo, she does not return to me.
No need for Sagittarians, and Libras please leave me be. I have no chemistry with Aquarians, and it’s clear we’re not meant to be. But Virgo, sweet Virgo, she was destined for me. Her lips melt against mine, our hearts share the same beat. I was sure that this was love, the horoscope said that we’d meet. Yet still it was unexpected how you swept me off my feet. Inside your constellation, my heart it found a home. And I’ve been floating ever since, still can’t bear to let you go.
The night we met, we danced, beneath the Sacramento moon. You told me you were scared because you had never fallen so soon. You fell for me and I caught you, with arms open wide, and then I fell for you as well… A Capricorn, and a Virgo, we were in heaven, now in hell.
And now I sleep alone, as we lay oceans apart. I know that you think of me, and you still feel me in your heart. I would chase the stars, just to be where you are. You are my beautiful Virgo, no matter how far we grow apart, and you are still the only girl who holds a claim to this heart.
But it’s time I let you go, and lay to rest this somber dream. My beautiful Virgo, she does not return to me…

 

The Curse of Chemistry

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Dedicated to M.

It’s over now, before it even began.  Our days spent together reduced to a single strand. A strand of time, linking us both together. I can’t erase the past, and you I’ll always remember. You’re in my head, your moans echo inside my skull. The chemistry between us, it overwhelms. Your sweet kisses I could not resist, when our bodies touched I experienced bliss. But this chemistry we share it is also a curse, it causes all common sense to disperse. The timing was wrong, we both knew this from the beginning. So addicted to your lust, I kept on sinning. I lost a piece of myself, it now lives in you. A souvenir, to help get you through, those cold lonely nights when you think of me. I’ll still be there, found in your heart beat.

Chemistry, it never dies.  Like a parasite, it needs you to survive.  It latched on so fast, leaving me paralyzed. To touch you, to taste you was the desire of my life.  But it was too fast, it all happened too soon, it scared you I know, and that’s why I lay alone in this room. This  chemistry is a curse, and I know that it’s true, because now I’m afraid I cannot  escape you. You need more time, but this life is short, so we say goodbye and our ways we part. This chemistry, it cannot be denied, and if it is meant to be than you and I will be united. Goodbye for now, my sweet midnight, and may your future days be nothing but bright…

 

Do Not Think Badly of Me, I’m Just a Woman Who Feels Too Much (Part I)

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

Dedicated to A.E.

Do not think badly of me, I’m just a woman who feels too much. With a vivid imagination, and not enough trust. Who’s decided to grow up, and do what is expected. Back in my youth I was highly misdirected, but I’m in control of my own destiny and they say that life is what you make it. Well I don’t want to be alone when I meet the undertaker. So I decided to take a chance on love, and see where it takes me. I just want to be happy, but love ain’t free. I have to change some traits that I got from my father, if I ever want a family, a wife or a daughter. I know that you could be the one to satisfy me, but it seems that I always have the worst timing. So I gotta move on, gotta focus on what I have. Don’t want to miss a beautiful future because I’m caught in the past. My feelings may never change, but I can learn to let them go. I can write them down and I can send them in a poem. Because I know that I can’t have you, not the way that I desire. I can’t hurt the girl that loves me, I can’t keep playing with fire. So I’ll address this letter to the girl that got away. If you’re ever unhappy perhaps we’ll get a chance someday. But until then, I wish you all the best. I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied to call you my friend…

 

I Love Too Hard, I Love Until It Hurts (Part II)

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham

I love too hard, I love until it hurts. I just wanna hold you and be what you deserve. Just wanna kiss away your tears and fight away your hurt. Wanna chase away your fears and tickle you ’til you smirk. I got dreams, I got wishes, most of them involve you. I wish that we could snuggle the way that lovers do. Spend all day in bed, and forget about the haters. I just wanna make you smile and lick you like a Now & Later. But you were never mine to hold, so I might as well say see you later. You and I will never be, so I get high on these vapors. But it only makes it worse. My imagination gets the best of me when I’m alone with this curse. This hungry heart I know that you could’ve possessed, but I gotta focus on the now don’t want to live in the past. Can’t focus on what could be or what might’ve been, when there’s a woman who loves me and who shares my bed. I would’ve loved you, perhaps more than any other. But I cannot chase a woman who is in love with another. I gotta say goodbye, it is too painful to be friends. To be constantly reminded of your love for him. I want you to be happy, more than anything that’s true. I just wish I could’ve been the one to give that happiness to you. You will always be my muse, but I must move on to a different theme. No more poems of sadness, desire or longing, and no more poems about the girl who will never fully love me… I love too hard, I love until it hurts, but if I don’t get over you the pain will only get worse.

 

Mary Jane

by Ashley “Nova” Bingham 

As I sit and eat stars on a planet called Mars, my thoughts turn into words, there is no need for 16 bars. No need for a hook, and no need for a chorus. Just soak up the universe, and tell them all to enjoy this. A new baby is born on the second day of the week. Somewhere someone is dying, and is unable to speak. I got all this on my mind, maybe I should put it to a beat. Just SPEAK, on all these truths, scribble them down on a page. And just think, the one to thank for this is my pal Mary Jane.
The whole earth stands still, but the pen keeps moving. God’s day is my day, so I salute this last one to him. As I go up, up and away, yes even on a Sunday, cause that’s the last “fun day” and I can’t do this on Monday. And my mind starts to race, to keep up with my beating heart. Cause I’ve got this lovely goddess on my mind, she won’t depart. She looks like a Jennifer, but I call her Aphrodite. She should call me Nefertiti, because for her I’d cross the Nile. I’d have a pyramid erected in her honor, just because. I’d shower her with gold and expensive Egyptian rugs, but most of all I’d give her love, more than anyone could buy. More than all the sand in Egypt, more than all the stars up in the sky. And I’d ask her to love me back, beyond this physical lust. I’d let her penetrate my heart, and turn it into mush. I’d ask her not to be afraid of this change in me; I’d want for her love to go so deep. Beyond any love that I have ever known. I’d want her to make me feel, vulnerable. Because then I’d know this was right, I’d know the sacrifice was worth the gain. I’d know that we were meant to be, and that we deserve our happy ending.
But that will never happen, and she and I will never be. Because though we crave for one another, she’s not married to me. She’s married to him, and those are their two kids. They’re so beautiful, though you can see traces of him. And there’s me, the one she flirts with, when we’re out of sight. The one she’ll scan the whole room for, just to catch me with her eyes. I’m the one that she avoids whenever she’s with her husband, and the one she thinks about when it’s him that she’s touching. I’m the one that she hugs extra tight, when she’s sure nobodies watching – just to feel my warm chest up against hers, and to feel my arms around her waist. To feel my warm, minty breath against her neck, near to the lips that she longs to taste. We both know what she wants, and I would gladly oblige if she weren’t married, though at times I think I still should. I just don’t wanna break-up a happy home, I’d rather be a doer of good. But maybe she’s not happy, and my love could change that. Still I can’t go after a man’s wife. It’s a bad situation, but still I know – you can’t pit wrong against right. So maybe I’ll just continue to see her in my dreams, or perhaps these dreams would fade if I stopped messin’ with Mary Jane…. So it’s back aboard the space shuttle, back down to earth I go. As I land gently upon my bed, and off to sleep I fall.


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